Patriot Golf Day 2009! It’s that awesome unofficial holiday- but- not- really- a- holiday- but- we- just- made- one- up- holiday! Yes, from the people who brought to you patriot fries (USA copyrighted?), patriot milk, and patriot dogs (hot dogs because frankfurter is german and the germans didn’t support us in Iraq), they bring you the latest invention of the American Freedom Machine, Patriot Golf. Just think of how great or hilarious or ridiculous it is to see the likes of Jack Nicholson, Tiger Woods, or Michelle Wie, swinging their golf clubs with a bright red, white, and blue American flag strapped to their backs. Surely any lover of freedom would find this a patriotic thing to do. I myself am always physically too lazy to do anything that requires me to walk 50 feet in any direction but I am always proud of such weird yet um, yeah weird events.
With the advent of Patriot Golf Day 2009, I wonder if we will have video games for it. I mean, it would be an awesome title for a game. Say it with me,’ Patriot Golf! 2009!’ and the game would always be released on well, Patriot Golf Day of course. I remember a few years back when I was traveling with my best friends Warren and Bill, we also invited some of our geeky computer science buddies over to play video games at the Stony Brook Computer Science graduate center. We chose that location because they have these incredible projectors that are awesome to play xbox 360 games with. Anyway we got really hungry and had to go get some food, so we went to a local diner along the Stony Brook Road highway. My friend Bill made a bet with John, one of our buddies, that if John told the waitress that he wanted an American meal, he’d give John $1 on the spot. John took up Bill on this amazing dare, and did it with extremely American skill.
The waitress comes with a big happy smile on her face (it was a real one, not a fake one so she liked her job) and John’s order goes like this:
Waitress: “May I take your order, sir?”
John: “Yes, I would like a Patriot Burger with cheese, an American Coca Cola, and some Liberty Fries.”
Me: “John also would like a side of freedom with that order.”
Bill gave John his most deserving $1, American.
I’m only 27 years old as I write this but I imagine that some day I will be playing golf, and will there ever be another Patriot Golf Day 2009? You bet. While there is all this hoopla over Americans being way too patriotic and being borderline fanatical, I just think of all the good times patriotism and freedom brings all humans. After all, that is what democracy is all about, doing what you want, saying what you want, disagreeing with everything you can imagine, and eating some patriot fries, with a side of freedom of course. So get out there and swing away at Patriot Golf Day 2009, and be sure to wave flags and look as ridiculous as you can because freedom is also funny.
